Rocket Surgeon: A person with less-than-stellar aptitude. A mixture of "rocket scientist" and "brain surgeon" This phrase describes a person who is neither.




Wednesday, December 9, 2009

A Day of Dumb

Six out of seven days of the week, I either
A) forget to lay out some meat to thaw for supper or
B) it doesn't thaw. 

I use these for a great excuse not to cook and order Chinese.

Yesterday, I laid out some catfish fillets to cook.  We occasionally eat fish.  Sometimes I just want something different, ya know?  Well it just so happened, as it does 6 other nights of the week, that is was not ready to be cooked at suppertime. 

I had already had my afterschool-4:00-stressed out-shoveanythinginmymouth-binge and wasn't real hungry when Jason came in from breaking ice, feeding cows, opening and closing gates, putting out hay in -3* windchill and 30 mph winds.  Somehow he missed his 4:00 binge and was starving.  Being the Martha Stewart like wife that I am, I did the only thing I could do aside from feeding him a bologna sandwich.  I opened a can of salmon and fried up some patties. 

In case you don't know me very well, I need to confess something right here and right now. 

Ready?


I can't cook.

It's not my favorite thing to do, and I'm not really that good at it.

But I can follow a recipe, and the recipe for salmon patties is on the can of Honey Boy Salmon usually. But not this time.  There was some other bizarre salmon concotion on there.  So being the Martha Stewart like wife that I am, I winged it.  I knew I needed eggs and bread crumbs, and onions and I just whupped 'em up.  They were edible and halfway tasty.

Fast forward to tonight. 
I need to cook the catfish that is now good and thawed.  I have made it a couple of times, but I don't know from where I got the recipe.  Because of my great salmon patty success from the night before, I'm at about a 7.4 on the richter scale of confidence.  I can do this.  I start pulling out some seasonings.  I remember using cajun spice before, a little garlic, a little lemon powder, and maybe some season salt. 

I drizzled some olive oil, covered the fillets with seasoning, and stuck them in the oven to bake.  As I was returning the spices to the shelf, the season salt got turned around, and I discovered that instead of Lawrey's Season Salt, it was Julio's Seasoning, excellent for fajitas, chicken, steak, and a sundry of other things, not including fish. 

We had Mexican fish tonight. 
Fortunately, the Cajun overpowered the Mexican and this is sounding like a bad joke, so I'll stop there.

Second dumb thing I did:

I fed a stray cat on the porch.
I did.
I know better.
But it's cold.
And it was right there on the porch.
Looking pathetic.
And cold.
And hungry.

Wouldn't Martha Stewart have done the same thing?

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