Rocket Surgeon: A person with less-than-stellar aptitude. A mixture of "rocket scientist" and "brain surgeon" This phrase describes a person who is neither.

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Fiesta Time

I help teach English as a Second Language one night a week at my church. I figure if God has blessed me with a gift of teaching, then I should use it.  So I try. 

The students in the class are adult learners, with a huge amount of courage. My heart goes out to them because I know what a great challenge this is, and that they are doing it to better their lives and the lives of their families.

For our Thanksgiving holiday celebration, we had a fiesta!  

Everyone brought a dish. 

A potluck if you will. 

As the students meandered in, bearing their platters, bowls, and such, they brought great joy and smiles with them.  In the Hispanic culture, food is a big deal.  They find it insulting if you do not accept food that they offer.  Keep in mind, this is not Tex-Mex, like I'm accustomed to, this is good home-cooked, authentic Mexican food.   I try to stay away from Menudo or anything that may be made from bovine intestines.

As the plates were uncovered, revealing an assortment of great smelling foods, I could pick out a few familiar items.  Among the recognizable were Chile Rellanos, rice, enchiladas, and fajitas.  I gravitated towards those. 

One of the students wanted me to try her dish.  A fajita-type thing-a-majigie.  With her hand gestures, thick accent, and broken English,  she explained to me to begin with a corn tortilla, put a lot of beef on it, add a little cabbage, and a little cilantro, and a little caliente sauce. 

I finished filling my plate and sat down to eat.  Everything was good, but the fajita dish was my favorite.  I nibbled on the other things, but hoovered the fajita. 

When the meal was finished, and we were cleaning up, another teacher was talking to the fajita cook. 

That's when I discovered, (gulp), that it wasn't beef after all, (big gulp), that the delicious, succulent, tender meat that I piled onto my tortilla, and ate with great enthusiasm, was after all, (gulp),




Just in case you didn't catch all that. 

I ate tongue!

And I loved it!

Will I do it again? 

Not on your life.

Saturday, November 28, 2009


This is my nephew Maxx.  (the one chewing on his bib)

This is my husband Jason. 

This is the first time I've ever seen Jason hold a baby.

This is probably the last time, I'll ever see Jason hold a baby.

Neither one of them look like they're enjoying it much, do they?

Friday, November 27, 2009

Day After Thanksgiving Blues---a poem----a very crude poem

This morning I woke up to see,
The bathroom scales lying at me.

Up five pounds, that can't be right,
The pumpkin pie had Cool Whip light!

Elastic's now my new best friend.
Buttons and snaps, never again.

There's nothing left to do but wish,
I hadn't eaten that eleventh dish.

If I don't get my butt in gear,
I'll  be the butterball next year.

The kitchen looks like a tornado hit,
Facebook's calling, I'll just sit.

Dirty dishes pile the sink,
Toss 'em out and buy more I think.

The turkey carcass is out back,
A special treat for an alley cat.

The family fight I did endure,
four weeks till Christmas, then some more.

I'm not a poet, you will find,
Tryptophan has clogged my mind.

by Angel aka Butterball

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Rest, Refresh, Refocus

Okay.  So I had a mini-nervous breakdown yesterday. 

I lashed out.

I'm better now.

It's just that things are a bit overwhelming to me right now.

My toenails need clipping.

My mustache needs waxing. 

Yes,  my mustache.  My loving brother told me a few years back that I better hurry up and find a husband before my mustache got any thicker.  That's when I decided I'd better tend to it.  Thanks Steve-O, you helped me catch a man.  I don't think I could've done it without you.

And if that is how neglected my body and hygiene is, you don't even want to think about my fridge. 
Don't go there.

I have a to-do longer than Santa's naughty list, and to top it off, Ashlynn wants to make cookies. 

When life becomes so stressful, and I need a vacation from it, I'm reminded of Matthew 11:28.
Come to me all you who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest.  This translates to I will refresh you.  It continues  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for you souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.

I'm reminded of when Jesus walked on the water.  The disciples had gone out in the boat.  Jesus had told them to, but he didn't go with them.  He knew a storm would come before he sent them out.  He sent them anyway.  He was on the other side and we're told He saw them toiling, straining at the oars because the wind was against them.  Jesus sees our toil, our labor, and our work.  He's there to help us through storms.

I'm reminded of a time when Jesus and the disciples needed to get away.  The crowds had been pressing into them.  He needed solitude, serenity, and peace.  He went away from the people for a time to spend with the Father.  Mark 6:31 says in red letters:  Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.

So that's what I did.  I went away to a quiet place and spent time with the Father.  He granted me rest and refreshing. 

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving.  It is my most favorite holiday.  But there's a lot to do.

So I'm going to go bake some cookies, clean out my fridge, and clip my toenails.  Not necessarily in that order.



Serenity Now!

My life is hectic lately. 

And I don't like it.

I like peace and serenity.

I go visit the cows.

Aw, serenity.

The soft moos.

The whisper of the breeze through the bluestem grass.

The sweet suckling at the teet.

 The pictures of nature.


Deep breaths.

Calmness in my soul.

Until Jason cusses.

See all these black ones?  And that charolais?  (pronounced shar-lay; that would be the white one)

See how they aren't red?

They don't belong here. They belong to the neighbor. They've busted through the fence. They think the grass is greener here.

It's not.

It's dead here too.

That creates more work for Jason.

That makes him mad.

All the cows in this pasture should be red. 

Like this pair:  a momma and her baby.

But this pair?  There's something in the woodpile here.

This one has a booger.  It happens.  One of my second grade students needed two kleenexes, and announced "I have a lot of boogers."  It just happens.

It's still cute.

Serenity again.

 And then.....

these two.

They face off.

They go head to head,

 and toe to toe.

They kick up some dirt.

And some more.

ENOUGH!!!!  I scream.  Q---U--I---E---T!!!!! 

Aw, serenity.

Then we just lie in the pasture, and enjoy the day.

It doesn't get much better than this.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Who I Am.

I'm a loner.

I'm a homebody.

I'm a recluse, if you'll let me.

I'm an introvert.


I've got a lot to be thankful for.

I've got five days off.

I want to be left alone for five minutes.

Can the phone stop ringing?


Can anyone relate to this?

Anyone??  Besides me and Henry David Thoreau?

Some people are recharged by others.

Not me.

I'm exhausted by them.

They wipe me out.

Plumb out.

I need to be alone to be recharged.

It's who I am.

I can't apologize for it.

I can't deny it.

I can't pretend.

That's just me.

Thank you for listening.


Monday, November 23, 2009

WARNING: Bovine Porn

Hey Jason, whatcha doin'?

Checkin' for springers.

What's a springer?

A cow that's gettin' close to calving.

How can you tell she's ready?

Any questions?

Ladies who are reading this blog:

And you think your backside looks bad??
I don't care who you are, this has got to make you feel better about yourself!

Saturday, November 21, 2009

The Faces I Love

I mean look at em!
Are those not the cutest things you've ever laid eyes on?

Friday, November 20, 2009

Ree? Ree?

Last weekend I was at the World Finals Ranch Rodeo Competition in Amarillo, TX with my husband and some great friends.  As the teams were being announced and riding in with their state flags flying, I heard the announcer say something about Pawhuska Oklahoma.  My ears perked up.  I jabbed Jason in the ribs with my elbow.  "That's where The Pioneer Woman is from!  I wonder if it's her ranch?"  We looked in the program and sure enough it was the Drummond Ranch.  That's her last name!  Heart beating increasingly faster and faster, I started scanning the audience, looking for a woman with hair the color of Lucille Ball  and a big camera.  I HAVE to meet her! 

This would work out perfect. I'll meet her, get a picture, get my cookbook signed, all without having to drive to OKC and wait in a line for 2 1/2 hours.  Maybe I can even have a conversation with her.

Have you heard of The Pioneer Woman?  She is my new obsession.  A couple months back, the principal at my school recommended I check out her blog, because she said she kind of reminds her of me, but then after telling me all about her, she realized we're actually nothing alike, except our husbands both ranch.  I checked out her page and instantly gravitated to her.
The Pioneer Woman has a section for photography, cooking, homeschooling, and general confessions.  I was originally drawn to her ranching stories.  This month, her cookbook came out and is currently on the NYT Bestseller.  I already have my copy, thank you very much.  I bought it the exact same day.  She'll be in OKC on December 15th.  Maybe I'll be there.

Meanwhile, back at the Rodeo.......  So, I'm sitting there, fully alert, watching this team from Oklahoma.  I have some pretty honed stalking skills from an ex-boyfriend I used to follow (we'll save that story for another time) so when the crowd cheers after team penning, I instantly spot the section with the loudest hollerers.  I almost went to the pickup to get the binoculars to really have a look-see. 

My loving husband, whose only desire is to satisfy my every whim, decided I am squinting way too much and he'll just go up to the group of cheering fans and ask if Ree is there.  Ree!!  Like we're on a first name basis or something.  As he approaches a couple of women, I hang back, looking at a display of saddles, pretending I don't know him.  Well she wasn't there.  The lady said they were cousins from the other side of the ranch, but recommended I befriend her on facebook.

Right now, I have Pioneer Woman's Braised Short Ribs in the Oven.  They are smelling divine.  Because I plan ahead so well, we'll be eating supper at 2:00 a.m., but I'm sure it will be delicious and we'll be famished.  I'm trying out that polenta stuff too, which I have no idea what that is, but I'm sure PW won't let me down.

I'm telling you, she is saving my marriage.  I cooked Grilled Ribeye with Blue Cheese Sauce the other day, and it was to die for.  Jason didn't sleep on the couch that night.

I've emailed her twice.  She hasn't responded.  I've tried to befriend her on facebook.  She hasn't responded.  It's obvious she doesn't know I'm her #1 fan.  When she reads this, because I'm sure she will, she'll have visions from Stephen King's Misery, Kathy Bates, and hacked off limbs. 

Not to worry, I hate blood and guts.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Fine Feathered Friends

Dear God, make me a bird, so I can fly far.  Far, far away from here. 

Can you name that movie?  Sometimes this is all I say too. 
I long to be a goose. 
Okay, no snide remarks necessary.  But I envy the geese this time of year.  They just know where to go.  They don't weigh the pros and cons of their decisions.  They don't look at a budget.  They don't talk to a psychologist.  They just do what needs to be done to survive.  Simple, really.

I hear the geese honking, and it makes my heart happy.  They remind me that life keeps on keeping on.  Seasons change. The sun comes up, and hurries back around to do it again.  We are all just in a great big circle or a great big cycle, or a great big.....well whatever.

The geese are leaving to go to their winter homes. They'll get to their sunny destination and wear bermuda shorts and sunglasses, lay on lawn chairs, and drink fancy little drinks with umbrella straws. We'll stay here and forge the long cold winter, endure the icy winds that cut to the bone, and the layers and layers of clothes.

I learned about migrating geese and the formation they fly once upon a time in the oddest of places.  A math meeting.  I was assigned to be on a math team to represent co-workers and help make the oh-so-important math decisions that invariably are shoved into a manilla folder and not implemented.  The first meeting was a complete waste of time.  They taught us how the geese fly.  I sat there madder than a hornet, checking off the list in my head of all the things I needed to be doing, would rather be doing, and should be doing, while appearing thoroughly engaged in conversation.  (It's a gift of mine)  And now, here I am,  7 years later remembering the story. 

Things I remember about geese:
1.  They honk loudly to encourage each other.
2.  They take turns being the V leader.
3.  If another goose gets hurt and needs to fall out of formation, 2 other birds go with him and wait until he recovers or dies, then find another flock to travel with.
4. Each bird flys slightly higher then the one behind to create a draft to help lift and carry the others along.

What lessons can we learn from these birds of a feather?

1.  Maybe we should encourage others during their journey.
2.  Maybe we should take the lead on occasion to give others a break.
3.  Maybe if we see someone struggling, we should stop and help them out, until they can carry on.


Maybe we should all buy shotguns and shoot the
noisy *@&!**@%

Whatever makes the world a better place.

Hey, it's Thursday.
If you stand on your tiptoes, you can see the weekend from here.

Love and peace,
(and geese)

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Simple Woman


November 18, 2009

Outside my window...the stars are beginning to fade in

I am thinking...I CAN do it, I can complete a half marathon.

I am thankful abilities.

From the kitchen...White Almond Cake and a glass of whole milk.

I am wearing...gray sweats, a NASA sweatshirt from my brother Stan, and white socks.

I am creating...a list of want-to's.

I am stop letting little things eat at my insides.

I am reading...It's Tough Being A Woman, a study of Esther, and To The Nines by Janet Evanovich

I am hoping...for the right turns in life.

I am hearing...the ice cream truck. What!? It's November.

Around the house...nothing is stirring.

One of my favorite happening right now.

A few plans for the rest of the week: practice piano, go to Bible Study, clean the house well.

Here is picture for thought I am sharing....Reminds me of a couple people I know.....hehe

This journal entry is from

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Just messin'

Wordle: Doggie Went a'courtin'
This is a site called
You can put in some text, and the words that are used more often, show up bigger. This is my story Doggie Went A Courtin'

Wordle: blog

This one is of my blog.
Click on randomize and it will change it up for you.

Have a good Saturday. We're off to the Ranch Rodeo.

Thursday, November 12, 2009


I'm thinking about it.

Tossing it around.

Should I????

Or not???


The opportunity has arisen to begin training for a half marathon. 

And I'm actually considering it!!! 

I've inherited my crazy mother's genes.  It's evident.

A half marathon is 13.1 miles.  DID YOU HEAR ME????  I said 13.1 MILES!!

I'll let you know if I don't chicken out.

“There will be days that you don’t know if you can run a marathon but there will be a lifetime of knowing you did!”

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

How time flies

One year ago today I posted my first blog ever. 

And then I put it away. 

And then I drug it back out.

And then I put it away. 

And then I drug it back out.

The month of October has been my busiest blogging month and I have a renewed commitment to continue blogging.  I didn't know what I was doing a year ago.  News Flash:  I don't know what I'm doing now.  My first blog was actually copied from a beautiful email I received.  A pantry email.  The kind you print out and hang on the inside door of your pantry so you can read it again and be reminded of it's good advice.   I have a few of those, even though I don't have a pantry door.  I used to.  Another story for another time.

 My husband is a bit embarrassed by my blog. I don't think he has ever read it, but he has come up behind me here at the desk and eyeballed it a time or two.   After looking at our niece blow bubbles with her nose, he proclaimed it an embarrassment and couldn't believe I put all this out here for the world to read.

Uh, I have 3 followers. 

Uh, and they're all related. 

So, in honor of my one year blogging anniversary, I have another pantry email to share. 
1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. And while you walk, smile. It is the ultimate anti-depressant.

2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day. Talk to God about what is going on in your life. Buy a lock if you have to.

3. When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement, 'I am thankful for______________'

4. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.

5. Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, wild Alaskan salmon, broccoli , almonds & walnuts.

6. Try to make at least three people smile each day..

7. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires, issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.

8. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out charge card.

9. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

10. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

11. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

12. You are not so important that you have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

13. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.

14. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

15. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

16. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: 'In five years, will this matter?'

17. Forgive everyone for everything.

18. What other people think of you is none of your business.

19. GOD heals everything - but you have to ask Him.

20. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

21. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch!!!

22. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

23. Each night before you go to bed complete the following statements: I am thankful for__________.

24. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.

25. When you are feeling down, start listing your many blessings. You'll be smiling before you know it.

I'm pretty good at #1 and #2.  I do those simultaneously, pray and walk.  I don't smile though.  I should try to add that in.  I think my cheeks might start hurting after a block.

I need to work on #14, 18, and 22. 

How about you?  What are you improving on?

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Stickhorses and Dustbunnies

After my last great attempt at horse riding, Adventures in Cowboying,
 I decided I needed some spurs.  Jason said I needed to learn how to ride first. 

If you are any kind of a real cowboy, stop reading right here and go rope a goat or something, this will not impress you one iota.  But if you are like me, a dude who doesn't know the difference between a halter and a bridle, continue reading and be impressed.
Be very impressed.

I just want you to know, I have absolutely no business with these.  My darling husband, whose desire is to fulfill my every whim, bought these for me, yes even though he knew I had no business with them.  That's just how he is.  They're cheapies.  I wouldn't have known, but he felt the need to tell me.  It didn't damper my enthusiasm.

Cheap or not, they still poke a horse, which I found out after trying them out with the trusty mount, Money.

Wearing these things got this horse's attention and scared my socks off.  As soon as I dismounted, I took those bad boys off with the ninja quickness.  Translation:  they were removed at an accelarated rate.  

On a good note, I found a horse.  He's just perfect for me.  Not a bit snorty.  And I don't think he'll mind my spurs too much.

My other pets are the dust bunnies under the bed.

Just keeping it real,


Sunday, November 8, 2009

Frustration? Yes!

I sit on a yellow, exercise ball at my computer desk.  I thought that was what they were for.  God forbid I exercise with it.  It has lost quite a bit of air lately and so my chin is practically resting on the desk now, and my arms are nearly above my head trying to type.  So, I got a barstool.  I tried that, but my knees are hitting the edge of the desk and I have to rest on my elbows to see the screen.  Because Jason is out wrangling bulls or something, I needed to take charge of this situation.  Being the oh-so-capable-of-anything woman that I am, I went to the garage to find a tool to wedge out the little white plastic doo hickey that holds the air in my exercise ball.  I settled on a screwdriver.  I searched for the air pump for 15 minutes and finally found it under the couch.  I dusted off the cobwebs and I proceeded to air up my exercise ball with a hand pump.  My right arm got a muscle cramp, I switched arms, my left arm got a muscle cramp, (didn't know I was ambidextrous did ya?) I stopped to mop the sweat from my brow and gasp for breath while air slowly seeped back out of the ball.  I repeated this process seventeen times.  Eventually I gave up, and plugged the ball back up, and am sitting on a nearly deflated yellow exercise ball with my chin resting on my desk while I type this.   I was going to write a blog  much more interesting than this, but after this whole ordeal, I've completely forgot what I had in mind and if I remembered, I don't have the energy to care.  I think I'll go get drunk now.

Monday, November 2, 2009

Adventures in Cowboying

I went out with my husband Jason yesterday. When I say "out", I don't mean on a date.  I mean "OUT"  in the country, "OUT" away from civilization and Starbucks, "OUT" where men are men and sheep are scared.  Well, not quite that far.

 Now, you must know that just because I'm married to a cowboy, that does not  make me a cowgirl. You know that right? You know that I can't ride a horse? You know that I can't rope a steer? You know that my  jeans are usually too short to wear with boots?
Okay, as long as we've got that straight.
I've got this great idea for a book. I'm going to call it Never Blow Bubbles in the Cowpen and Other Lessons From a Dude.  The dude being meThe only lesson I've learned so far is "never blow bubbles in the cowpen." In order to bring my idea to fruition, I need more material.  So, "OUT" we go. 
I knew we were going to get horseback.  I told you I can't ride a horse,  but what you may not know is I can't even get ON a horse.  That's right, I  need a boost on the butt. 
Here's my horse.  Not my horse, but the one I'm going to bounce around on, because that's what I do, bounce.

If you think he looks old, that's because he is.  He's old and safe, the way I like 'em.  He goes by the name of  Money.  I like that too. 
Money doesn't get out much, mostly just grazes in the pasture so he wanted to make sure he looked good. 

Do I have anything in my teeth?
Maybe you'd like a closeup of that. 

Purty, eh?
After I'm saddled, so begins our adventure.  Here's the plan.  We were going to sort off a sick calf and doctor it, then gather six bulls, load them in a trailer, and move them to another pasture.  Hmmm..... 
I'm a nervous wreck because I am way out of my comfort zone, on top of a horse that needs his teeth cleaned,  and my jeans are too short for wearing boots.  Jason, the cowboss, sensing my angst, consoles my with this advice: 
"Think like a cow." 
Gotcha!  All my anxiety melted right then and there.
We head out and ride into this trap that is holding some calves. Jason finds the sick one by his bloody butthole (sorry, but true). And our job is to try to cut that one out of the herd. Now, you must know that I don't like Money to get above an amble. We're good moseying along. I have no desire to trot, lope, or heaven help us-- run. So we're walking behind this herd, pushing them along, (yes, just like the movies).
But cattle seem to get a little bit stirred up at times and they don't go the way you want them too. But remember, I am thinking like a cow. Nothing could go wrong, right? Well, it doesn't. We do pretty good.   Here's the little guy getting some medicine.  Yes, it's dark by now, because it took us all day.  I think Jason slowed me down a bit.

We gathered the bulls, we attempted to gather the bulls, before dark.  Things were going okay, I actually trotted a bit and sort of, kind of got into a rhythm. We almost had these bulls where we wanted them to go, when one 2000 lb bully decided he was ready to fight.  There was some pushing, shoving, and headbutting, followed by a small stampede, and then the smaller of the two bulls went airborne, double flipped over the barbed wire fence, and landed in a different pasture.  I sat there atop my trusty mount, hands over my eyes, peeking through my fingers as Jason chased down the bull, expletives flying through the pasture.  We got him though.  That bull didn't have anything on us.

Needless to say, Jason could've done all this by himself in about an hour, but instead brought me along for the experience.  And I am home with some shot nerves, a sore saddle, and some real ranch dressing on my boots.

Sunday, November 1, 2009