Flanking 101

This is what I know about life: 

There are two sides to a pancake.
There are at least two sides to a story.
There are two sides to a coin. 

With all of that life experience under my belt, I could assume with confidence, that like a coin, there are two sides to every baby cow.   Heads and tails. 

I would assume wrong. 

Instead of heads or tails, it's tail or rope, and the rope is the tail, and the tail is first the tail, but then the head.  Understand? 

If yes, skip to section II.


Section I
I'll try to make this as simple as possible.

Step 1) At a cattle branding, a person, preferably a cowboy, ropes a calf by a leg, preferably two, and drags it towards the branding fire.

Step 2) One person, a flanker, grabs the ROPE that is tied to the calf's leg (or two).

Step 3) Another person, a second flanker, grabs the calf's TAIL.

With great physics involved that I an unable to explain, they get the calf on its side.


Step 4) It is at this crucial point, that the person who grabs the TAIL, lets go of theTAIL, and holds down the calf's HEAD.
 

Step 5) The person who had the ROPE puts the calf's legs in some sort of fancy jujitsu hold and unties the ROPE. 

Step 6) As the flankers hold down the calf, a very equipped crew comes in and "works" the calf with a variety of torture tactics.  No, no, just kidding.  Please don't call PETA.

Section II
Now being the astute observer that I am, I should have understood the art of flanking.  But I don't seem to pay attention when things don't concern me, or even  when they do, so I hadn't been watching much of the details of it all.  My job was to keep up with the nut sacks.  It's probably the most important job of the entire operation.  I'm not sure how cattle operations survive without it.  Yes, and I was the holder of this most coveted job. 

These fine little furry soft satchels that hold the calf testicles were mine to keep tally of.  Because my husband wants me to feel a part of it all, and I like easy jobs.

Out of the clear blue, my husband looks at me, "you wanna flank one?"  Not wanting to let down the team, I agreed.

Next question:  "You want tail or rope?" 

Pause here.......and picture this.......

I hadn't had the above tutorial that I so graciously shared with you, a calf was being drug to the fire, I had about 2 tenths of a second to answer, so I said "tail", thinking that when I said tail, I was going to be at the posterior end of the calf.  (Because of my vast life experience that tail is opposite head, you understand my logic don't you?)

The action begins.
I grab the tail.  So far, so good. Then I'm being screamed at to "get the head, get the head!" This would be Step #4 in the above tutorial. 
I held on firmly to the tail, thoroughly confused, thinking logically in my opinion, that the tail is the end part of a calf, and that I need to get to this calf's legs and do the fancy jujitsu hold.

You might be wondering here why I'm on my knees and someone else is on the head?  The answer would be because I have fallen and can't get up.  Someone has to rush in and rescue the whole deal before it all went south. 

Afterwards, Jason consoles me for being a flanking flunkie.

Pay no attention to the fact that it appears he may have just had a stroke seconds prior to this picture being snapped.

Or my huge belly.

This is what I know about life:

I need to brush up on my flanking vocabulary.

Fine little furry soft satchels are my friends.

These girls are making me look bad.

I'm not holding my breath for the Top Hand Award.

Which Twin Has the Toni?

This is my favorite picture of my dad.

He's at Niagra Falls.

Reasons I love this picture:

1.  It looks like he's having the time of his life.

and....

2.  It reminds me of this picture.

Doesn't Jesus look like he's at Niagra Falls too?

I can just imagine them sitting across from each other and having the best laugh.

Fiesta Time

I help teach English as a Second Language one night a week at my church. I figure if God has blessed me with a gift of teaching, then I should use it.  So I try. 

The students in the class are adult learners, with a huge amount of courage. My heart goes out to them because I know what a great challenge this is, and that they are doing it to better their lives and the lives of their families.

For our Thanksgiving holiday celebration, we had a fiesta!  

Everyone brought a dish. 

A potluck if you will. 

As the students meandered in, bearing their platters, bowls, and such, they brought great joy and smiles with them.  In the Hispanic culture, food is a big deal.  They find it insulting if you do not accept food that they offer.  Keep in mind, this is not Tex-Mex, like I'm accustomed to, this is good home-cooked, authentic Mexican food.   I try to stay away from Menudo or anything that may be made from bovine intestines.

As the plates were uncovered, revealing an assortment of great smelling foods, I could pick out a few familiar items.  Among the recognizable were Chile Rellanos, rice, enchiladas, and fajitas.  I gravitated towards those. 

One of the students wanted me to try her dish.  A fajita-type thing-a-majigie.  With her hand gestures, thick accent, and broken English,  she explained to me to begin with a corn tortilla, put a lot of beef on it, add a little cabbage, and a little cilantro, and a little caliente sauce. 

I finished filling my plate and sat down to eat.  Everything was good, but the fajita dish was my favorite.  I nibbled on the other things, but hoovered the fajita. 

When the meal was finished, and we were cleaning up, another teacher was talking to the fajita cook. 

That's when I discovered, (gulp), that it wasn't beef after all, (big gulp), that the delicious, succulent, tender meat that I piled onto my tortilla, and ate with great enthusiasm, was after all, (gulp),






tongue.


Tongue.


TONGUE!!


Just in case you didn't catch all that. 


I ate tongue!

And I loved it!

Will I do it again? 

Not on your life.

Help!

This is my nephew Maxx.  (the one chewing on his bib)

This is my husband Jason. 

This is the first time I've ever seen Jason hold a baby.

This is probably the last time, I'll ever see Jason hold a baby.

Neither one of them look like they're enjoying it much, do they?

Day After Thanksgiving Blues---a poem----a very crude poem

This morning I woke up to see,
The bathroom scales lying at me.

Up five pounds, that can't be right,
The pumpkin pie had Cool Whip light!

Elastic's now my new best friend.
Buttons and snaps, never again.

There's nothing left to do but wish,
I hadn't eaten that eleventh dish.

If I don't get my butt in gear,
I'll  be the butterball next year.

The kitchen looks like a tornado hit,
Facebook's calling, I'll just sit.

Dirty dishes pile the sink,
Toss 'em out and buy more I think.

The turkey carcass is out back,
A special treat for an alley cat.

The family fight I did endure,
four weeks till Christmas, then some more.

I'm not a poet, you will find,
Tryptophan has clogged my mind.

by Angel aka Butterball

Rest, Refresh, Refocus

Okay.  So I had a mini-nervous breakdown yesterday. 

I lashed out.

I'm better now.

It's just that things are a bit overwhelming to me right now.

My toenails need clipping.

My mustache needs waxing. 

Yes,  my mustache.  My loving brother told me a few years back that I better hurry up and find a husband before my mustache got any thicker.  That's when I decided I'd better tend to it.  Thanks Steve-O, you helped me catch a man.  I don't think I could've done it without you.

And if that is how neglected my body and hygiene is, you don't even want to think about my fridge. 
Don't go there.

I have a to-do longer than Santa's naughty list, and to top it off, Ashlynn wants to make cookies. 

When life becomes so stressful, and I need a vacation from it, I'm reminded of Matthew 11:28.
Come to me all you who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest.  This translates to I will refresh you.  It continues  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for you souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.

I'm reminded of when Jesus walked on the water.  The disciples had gone out in the boat.  Jesus had told them to, but he didn't go with them.  He knew a storm would come before he sent them out.  He sent them anyway.  He was on the other side and we're told He saw them toiling, straining at the oars because the wind was against them.  Jesus sees our toil, our labor, and our work.  He's there to help us through storms.

I'm reminded of a time when Jesus and the disciples needed to get away.  The crowds had been pressing into them.  He needed solitude, serenity, and peace.  He went away from the people for a time to spend with the Father.  Mark 6:31 says in red letters:  Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.

So that's what I did.  I went away to a quiet place and spent time with the Father.  He granted me rest and refreshing. 

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving.  It is my most favorite holiday.  But there's a lot to do.

So I'm going to go bake some cookies, clean out my fridge, and clip my toenails.  Not necessarily in that order.

Blessings,

Angel

Serenity Now!

My life is hectic lately. 

And I don't like it.

I like peace and serenity.

I go visit the cows.

Aw, serenity.

The soft moos.

The whisper of the breeze through the bluestem grass.

The sweet suckling at the teet.

 The pictures of nature.

Aw,serenity.

Deep breaths.

Calmness in my soul.

Until Jason cusses.

See all these black ones?  And that charolais?  (pronounced shar-lay; that would be the white one)

See how they aren't red?

They don't belong here. They belong to the neighbor. They've busted through the fence. They think the grass is greener here.

It's not.

It's dead here too.

That creates more work for Jason.

That makes him mad.

All the cows in this pasture should be red. 

Like this pair:  a momma and her baby.

But this pair?  There's something in the woodpile here.

This one has a booger.  It happens.  One of my second grade students needed two kleenexes, and announced "I have a lot of boogers."  It just happens.

It's still cute.

Serenity again.

 And then.....

these two.

They face off.

They go head to head,

 and toe to toe.

They kick up some dirt.

And some more.

ENOUGH!!!!  I scream.  Q---U--I---E---T!!!!! 

Aw, serenity.

Then we just lie in the pasture, and enjoy the day.

It doesn't get much better than this.

Who I Am.

I'm a loner.

I'm a homebody.

I'm a recluse, if you'll let me.

I'm an introvert.

Thanksgiving.

I've got a lot to be thankful for.

I've got five days off.

I want to be left alone for five minutes.

Can the phone stop ringing?

Please.

Can anyone relate to this?

Anyone??  Besides me and Henry David Thoreau?

Some people are recharged by others.

Not me.

I'm exhausted by them.

They wipe me out.

Plumb out.

I need to be alone to be recharged.

It's who I am.

I can't apologize for it.

I can't deny it.

I can't pretend.

That's just me.

Thank you for listening.

Now, LEAVE ME ALONE!!

WARNING: Bovine Porn

Hey Jason, whatcha doin'?

Checkin' for springers.


What's a springer?


A cow that's gettin' close to calving.


How can you tell she's ready?

Any questions?

Ladies who are reading this blog:

And you think your backside looks bad??
I don't care who you are, this has got to make you feel better about yourself!

The Faces I Love

I mean look at em!

Are those not the cutest things you've ever laid eyes on?

Ree? Ree?

Last weekend I was at the World Finals Ranch Rodeo Competition in Amarillo, TX with my husband and some great friends.  As the teams were being announced and riding in with their state flags flying, I heard the announcer say something about Pawhuska Oklahoma.  My ears perked up.  I jabbed Jason in the ribs with my elbow.  "That's where The Pioneer Woman is from!  I wonder if it's her ranch?"  We looked in the program and sure enough it was the Drummond Ranch.  That's her last name!  Heart beating increasingly faster and faster, I started scanning the audience, looking for a woman with hair the color of Lucille Ball  and a big camera.  I HAVE to meet her! 

This would work out perfect. I'll meet her, get a picture, get my cookbook signed, all without having to drive to OKC and wait in a line for 2 1/2 hours.  Maybe I can even have a conversation with her.

Have you heard of The Pioneer Woman?  She is my new obsession.  A couple months back, the principal at my school recommended I check out her blog, because she said she kind of reminds her of me, but then after telling me all about her, she realized we're actually nothing alike, except our husbands both ranch.  I checked out her page and instantly gravitated to her.
http://www.pioneerwoman.com/
The Pioneer Woman has a section for photography, cooking, homeschooling, and general confessions.  I was originally drawn to her ranching stories.  This month, her cookbook came out and is currently on the NYT Bestseller.  I already have my copy, thank you very much.  I bought it the exact same day.  She'll be in OKC on December 15th.  Maybe I'll be there.

Meanwhile, back at the Rodeo.......  So, I'm sitting there, fully alert, watching this team from Oklahoma.  I have some pretty honed stalking skills from an ex-boyfriend I used to follow (we'll save that story for another time) so when the crowd cheers after team penning, I instantly spot the section with the loudest hollerers.  I almost went to the pickup to get the binoculars to really have a look-see. 

My loving husband, whose only desire is to satisfy my every whim, decided I am squinting way too much and he'll just go up to the group of cheering fans and ask if Ree is there.  Ree!!  Like we're on a first name basis or something.  As he approaches a couple of women, I hang back, looking at a display of saddles, pretending I don't know him.  Well she wasn't there.  The lady said they were cousins from the other side of the ranch, but recommended I befriend her on facebook.

Right now, I have Pioneer Woman's Braised Short Ribs in the Oven.  They are smelling divine.  Because I plan ahead so well, we'll be eating supper at 2:00 a.m., but I'm sure it will be delicious and we'll be famished.  I'm trying out that polenta stuff too, which I have no idea what that is, but I'm sure PW won't let me down.

I'm telling you, she is saving my marriage.  I cooked Grilled Ribeye with Blue Cheese Sauce the other day, and it was to die for.  Jason didn't sleep on the couch that night.

I've emailed her twice.  She hasn't responded.  I've tried to befriend her on facebook.  She hasn't responded.  It's obvious she doesn't know I'm her #1 fan.  When she reads this, because I'm sure she will, she'll have visions from Stephen King's Misery, Kathy Bates, and hacked off limbs. 

Not to worry, I hate blood and guts.

Fine Feathered Friends

Dear God, make me a bird, so I can fly far.  Far, far away from here. 

Can you name that movie?  Sometimes this is all I say too. 
I long to be a goose. 
Okay, no snide remarks necessary.  But I envy the geese this time of year.  They just know where to go.  They don't weigh the pros and cons of their decisions.  They don't look at a budget.  They don't talk to a psychologist.  They just do what needs to be done to survive.  Simple, really.

I hear the geese honking, and it makes my heart happy.  They remind me that life keeps on keeping on.  Seasons change. The sun comes up, and hurries back around to do it again.  We are all just in a great big circle or a great big cycle, or a great big.....well whatever.

The geese are leaving to go to their winter homes. They'll get to their sunny destination and wear bermuda shorts and sunglasses, lay on lawn chairs, and drink fancy little drinks with umbrella straws. We'll stay here and forge the long cold winter, endure the icy winds that cut to the bone, and the layers and layers of clothes.

I learned about migrating geese and the formation they fly once upon a time in the oddest of places.  A math meeting.  I was assigned to be on a math team to represent co-workers and help make the oh-so-important math decisions that invariably are shoved into a manilla folder and not implemented.  The first meeting was a complete waste of time.  They taught us how the geese fly.  I sat there madder than a hornet, checking off the list in my head of all the things I needed to be doing, would rather be doing, and should be doing, while appearing thoroughly engaged in conversation.  (It's a gift of mine)  And now, here I am,  7 years later remembering the story. 

Things I remember about geese:
1.  They honk loudly to encourage each other.
2.  They take turns being the V leader.
3.  If another goose gets hurt and needs to fall out of formation, 2 other birds go with him and wait until he recovers or dies, then find another flock to travel with.
4. Each bird flys slightly higher then the one behind to create a draft to help lift and carry the others along.

What lessons can we learn from these birds of a feather?

1.  Maybe we should encourage others during their journey.
2.  Maybe we should take the lead on occasion to give others a break.
3.  Maybe if we see someone struggling, we should stop and help them out, until they can carry on.


Or.....




Maybe we should all buy shotguns and shoot the
noisy *@&!**@%

Whatever makes the world a better place.

Hey, it's Thursday.
If you stand on your tiptoes, you can see the weekend from here.

Love and peace,
(and geese)
Angel

Simple Woman

FOR TODAY

November 18, 2009

Outside my window...the stars are beginning to fade in

I am thinking...I CAN do it, I can complete a half marathon.

I am thankful for...my abilities.

From the kitchen...White Almond Cake and a glass of whole milk.

I am wearing...gray sweats, a NASA sweatshirt from my brother Stan, and white socks.

I am creating...a list of want-to's.

I am going...to stop letting little things eat at my insides.

I am reading...It's Tough Being A Woman, a study of Esther, and To The Nines by Janet Evanovich

I am hoping...for the right turns in life.

I am hearing...the ice cream truck. What!? It's November.

Around the house...nothing is stirring.

One of my favorite things...is happening right now.

A few plans for the rest of the week: practice piano, go to Bible Study, clean the house well.

Here is picture for thought I am sharing....Reminds me of a couple people I know.....hehe

This journal entry is from
http://thesimplewomansdaybook.blogspot.com/

Just messin'

This is a site called wordle.net
You can put in some text, and the words that are used more often, show up bigger. This is my story Doggie Went A Courtin'



This one is of my blog.
Click on randomize and it will change it up for you.

Have a good Saturday. We're off to the Ranch Rodeo.

YYYYIIIIIIKKKKKEEEESSSSS

I'm thinking about it.



Tossing it around.



Should I????




Or not???



Maybe??



The opportunity has arisen to begin training for a half marathon. 



And I'm actually considering it!!! 


I've inherited my crazy mother's genes.  It's evident.


A half marathon is 13.1 miles.  DID YOU HEAR ME????  I said 13.1 MILES!!

I'll let you know if I don't chicken out.



“There will be days that you don’t know if you can run a marathon but there will be a lifetime of knowing you did!”